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An Open Letter To Txiki Begiristain & Ferran Soriano

June 25, 2013

Hello Txiki, hello Ferran. I hope you follow my blog and read this. You’re probably too busy though. Why you’d claim to be busy I’ve no idea.
You see, we’re hurting Txiki, Ferran. (Can I call you that? Good)
We’re hurting bad. We thought a new hero was arriving on our beachless shores. We were told it was nailed on by and the Daily Mirror. It was 1/12 on Skybet. So as a result we’ve bought the shirts, some have even got the tattoo, and if those people don’t like discos, then there’s no going back. We’d even written a song. It’s been a painful few days.
An as we deal with this hurt, this raw pain inside us, we need answers.

Smoke and mirrors.
I think it’s necessary to give you a brief education on our proud club. And there is a reason for this.
You see, the City of old wouldn’t have stumbled around like a blind, drunken tramp trapped in a badly-chosen metaphor. They’d have acted decisively. They would have blown the competition out of the water to get Lee Bradbury from Portsmouth. They’d have put their money where their mouth is to complete the exciting capture of Jon Macken from the illustrious Preston North End. They’d pounce on any player who had a half-decent game against them, be it a competitive match, a pre-season friendly or even a testimonial, or snapped up anyone that had a nifty youtube compilation online. They’d have used the money set aside to repair a crumbling Kippax stand to capture a player on their radar. They knew how to deal in the transfer market. Sod the consequences, they knew how to get their man, even if it meant paying double the asking price and placing the club into administration.
And the City of old would not be found scrambling around on transfer deadline day for cheap cuts. Yes there was that Mido bloke that we kept trying to get, and we did sign Benjani in September, but those were the exceptions to the rule. With Swales, Lee or Bernstein in charge, City acted quickly and decisively. We were no one’s mugs.
But how times change. Yet again, City have been bullied out of a potential transfer by a lesser club. Real Madrid? Fake Madrid more like. Bayern Munich? Never heard of them. Manchester United? Don’t make me laugh.
All it takes is some bloke called Zidane to waltz in and sign the player. It’s embarrassing. Why wasn’t one of our club legends on the phone to Isco to persuade him? Where’s Ged Brannan? What’s Buster Phillips up to? Why are we not utilising the pulling power of Adrian Heath?
I ask you this. What are we paying you for? PR campaigns in New York? Sound bites? Pointless academy campuses? It’s a mystery to me, to be honest.

And why the lack of communication? I lost a whole weekend scrolling through a 3427* page thread on Bluemoon for updates on the Isco saga, before realising there wasn’t a scrap of new news on there. Fans needed to know what was happening, it is their right to see a club respond to every piece of transfer speculation posted on social media sites by WUMS and your silence on the matter has been deafening and quite frankly disappointing.
Why did you not comment on the rumour that Isco had flown into Barton airfield at 5am on Sunday? Why did you not comment on the rumour that Isco was seen looking at maisonettes in Audenshaw last Wednesday? Why the radio silence once news broke that Adie Mike’s private jet company had a plane chartered for Malaga? Why Txiki, why?!
A simple response to each incident and you could have knocked a good 3000 pages off that Isco thread in a heartbeat. For once think of the fans, especially the really needy ones.

Now I’ve never seen Isco play, but City should have moved heaven and earth to get him. With his signing, City would have dominated European football for 30 years, maybe more. Txiki (if that’s really your name), you need to take a long, hard look at yourself. Preferably in a mirror. I once read on that Isco was available for just £7m two years ago, so why didn’t you two go for him then? You purport to be professional high-level businessmen, yet some of your dealings are more akin to those of the Chuckle Brothers. To me, to you. Yet again, City are the laughing stock of world football. I’m beginning to wonder if you share our ambition for this club.

How many times must City be snubbed? Players used to queue up to play for us. Geoff Thomas would have crawled over broken glass to play for us (and still have passed the medical). George Weah had a picture of Neil McNab on his bedroom wall as a kid. Yes we have signed two players already, but no one else wanted them so it was hardly difficult. Even an Apprentice reject could have closed those deals. Maybe even Brian Marwood. I mean, who’s heard of Fernandinho? Don Howe hasn’t and he knows everyone in the game. Even Jo gets to play for Brazil ahead of him. Jesus Navas? How full of yourself do you have to be to call yourself that? I’ll say it as it is – I don’t like him.

I was under the impression that you two were hired to bridge the gap between City and the likes of Real Madrid and Barcelona. And yet over 6 months later, those two clubs still seem to be a bigger draw to players. Do you not consider yourself to have failed? Will you be resigning? I won’t hold my breath. If I had such a catalogue of failure at the bank I work in, I’d have been out on my ear ages ago.

So this is a plea from all City fans, on whose behalf I speak. Get your act together, make us proud, and restore some superbia (pride) in our proelio (battle) to be the bestest team in the world. It’s the least we deserve.

* Update: 6327 pages.


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  1. Nick_AKA_ permalink

    I am extremely concerned that certain berts will read this blog and totally fail to notice the sarcasm…

  2. Andrew Parkinson permalink

    Hahahahahahahaha that’s fantastic!

  3. Furq permalink

    The oil has run out…

  4. thebluedynamo permalink

    Once again brilliant, “George Weah had a picture of Neil McNab on his bedroom wall as a kid”

  5. Ronald permalink

    ROFL. I DO hope they give it a read :p

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