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How Nancy Broke My Heart

July 8, 2015

Hello Dear This Message Is Respectfully Yours,

I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart. With due respect, trust and humanity, honestly, I will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, is due to the urgency of my situation, My name is Miss Nancy Kipkalya Kones, 25yrs old female and I held from Kenya in East Africa. The plane crashed on the Tuesday 10th, June, 2008. That leads me into a refugee camp.

After the burial of my father, my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold my father’s property to an Italian Expertrate which the shared the money among themselves and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father’s briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. The amount is( $5.8 USD )Million United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso on my arrival, It is my intention to compensate you with 30% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my stepmother has threatened to assinate me.

AWAITING YOUR URGENT AND POSITIVE RESPONSE,I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Please do keep this only to your self for now until the bank will transfer the fund.I have the documents for the claims.
Yours Sincerely

Miss Nancy Kipkalya Kones


Hello my dear petal,
Your moving email has touched me in places I didn’t know exist, and moved me to locations previously unseen. Dry your eyes mate, to quote a popular lyric with the “youths”.
I wish to commence a good relationship with you too. Only yesterday I spoke to an associate of yours also in Burkina Faso, where I talked of a wonderful summer I spent in Aribinda with a young servant boy named Cecile, a summer where we explored the wonderful city and each other. My story seems to have put him off, but I hope I do not have the same effect on you, and that we can bond and make transactions and stuff.

I weep at your touching story, and for this reason. I’m in. I want to help, and am hopeful that with these extra funds you promise, I can finally finish decorating the spare room and also purchase the Browning T9 titanium badminton racquet with extra-ease grip and tactile strings (for a more powerful drop shot).
Do you play badminton Nancy? Such a noble sport. One day I wish to be wealthy enough to purchase a feather shuttlecock.
We must all have dreams Nancy, for without them, what are we? Mere husks, drifting through life. Do not let the tragedy that has visited your life blur your dreams.

Please reply forthwith with instructions. Let’s do this.

Forever in gratitude
Harold Phallus


Hello’ Dearest Harold,

I am more than happy in your reply to my mail. How was your day?, I am
glad now that i saw your email and i am excited. The most important
reason why i choose to contact you is for you to stand as my trustee
and provide account where the bank will transfer my inheritance fund.
I got your contact from Google search for honest person to help me.
Firstly, I am emailing you from the office of the Reverend Uzuzua/ in
EVANGELICAL LURTHRAN CHURCH OF GOD, I told the Reverend Father Uzuzua
about my communication with you and he permitted me to access my email
in his office computer twice a day, Pls you can call me with the
office number of the rev father +226 67 38 75 57 here in the Mission
camp and ask of Miss Nancy Kipkalya that stays in the female hostel
room 12, block C when you will call me. ….Here in the camp Rev Father Ozuzua has been very nice to me since i came here he is like father to me. This refugee camp is just
like one staying in the prison and i hope by God’s grace i will come
out here soon with your help.

About Myself/ My Late Father/Mother

My name is Miss Nancy Kipkalya and a single daughter of my mother,
28 years of age, from Nairobi Kenya in East Africa, I am 5.6ft
tall,(never married before ) and presently I am residing in the
refugee camp here in Burkina Faso as a result of the plane crash and
My father was the former Kenyan Road Minister. He and Assistant
Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Laboso had been on board the Cessna
210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called
Kajong’a, in western Kenya . The plane crashed on Tuesday 10th,
June,2008. My mother died during a child birth in 1991, I have been
alone with my father and my evil step mother, with the help of United
Nation I managed to make my way to a near by country Burkina Faso
where my father deposited these money with my name as the next of kin.
It was only me that is alive now in my family. I don’t have any
relatives now whom i can go to,

My Wicked StepMother/Uncle

I am constrained because of the abuse/threaten I am receiving from my
wicked stepmother and uncle. They took away all my late father’s
treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my
beloved Father. Meanwhile i wanted to escape to the USA but they hide
away my international passport and other valuable traveling documents.
Luckly they did not discover where i kept my fathers File which
contains important documents. So I decided to run to the refugee camp
where i am presently seeking asylum under the United Nations High
Commission for the Refugee here in Ouagadougou , Republic of Burkina
Faso . my wicked step mother who wants to kill me and sit on my
inheritance, But God did not allow her to achieve her plans. However,
It is my intention to compensate you with 30% of the total money for
your services and the balance shall be my capital in your
establishment, please understand my condition and do not abandon me
without help. Therefore my condition here is very bad, to eat is very
hard for me but with God all things will be good just a day. You will
help me withdraw some money from the account where the money was
transferred, and from it you can send some money for me to get my
travelling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you in
order to further my studies .You will send a letter of invitation to
me so that they will give me a VISA urgently to travel and join you
over, to enable me continue my education.


1. Your Full Name…………………?,
2. Your Address…………………. ?,
3. Your Country of Origin………….?,
4.What do you do for living………………..?,
5. Your Age……………………… ?,
6. Sex…………………….?,
7.Your personal picture ……………..
8. Your phone no………………………. …………….?

So in the light of above i will like you to keep it to yourself and
don’t tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the
money if people get to know about it. Remember i am giving you all
this information due to the trust i deposed on you.I like honest and
understanding people, truthful and someone of vision, truth and
hardworking. My favorite language is English and i speak English very
fluently. Please i will like you to answer me these questions:

1. Can you handle this transfer?
2. Can i trust you as a genuine friend?

Meanwhile i will like you to call me like i said, i have a lot to tell you.

Have a nice day and think about me.
Awaiting to hear from you soonest:

Best Regard,

Nancy Kipkalya


Thank you for your honest and remarkably long reply. I feel I know you better than my friend Dave, and I know Dave very well indeed. We even holidayed together once in Turkey, but he got water in his ear so we had to fly back early. I was livid as I’d booked us on an all-you-can-eat buffet cruise from Fethiye, and I’d paid the deposit.

Anyway, your story fascinates me Nancy. It is one full of sorrow, and I realise how lucky I am to live my life here in England. I was once attacked by an overly-protective swan on the canal near my home in Manchester, north England and I had a heavy cold last year, but otherwise I have been very lucky. Swans can be very vicious.
Apart from the plane crash, evil step-mum, your passport confiscation, the fleeing the country episode and being trapped in a refugee camp without any money, food or phone, I am glad that god is looking over you.

I shall call when I can, but am currently experiencing problems with my phone. It is pay as you go, but O2 won’t let me add credit because I pushed one of their staff during a disagreement in their Trafford Centre store. All I can say Nancy is that I was severely provoked.
In the meantime, some details about me, so we can cement our union further. Just remember Nancy that looks can be deceiving. I consider myself a considerate, kind chap, who looks out for others. I also have over 2300 positive ratings on eBay.

My full name – Harold Richard Phallus
My address – 221b Baker Street, Sale, Manchester
Country of Origin – England
What I do for a living – I work for the government, but I cannot say in what capacity, as it is confidential. There’s a lot of filing though.
My age – 38
Sex – very rarely
Personal picture


As you can see i am a twin! My brother Barry is also included in the picture, as we like getting our picture taken together, and are a fun-loving pair!
I am on the left (I think).

Phone Number: 0161 969 4526

Can I handle this transfer? Yes i can – to me, to you. Can I be trusted – yes. To me, to you.

Your situation pains me, so let me know what is needed. I have told no one bar my pet gerbil Nibbles, and I don’t think he was paying much attention.




Hello my Dearest,

Thanks for your mail and concern towards my life in the refugee camp,
Well as i told you that i have contacted the bank before and Bank
Director told me that due to my refugee status that i cannot claim the
money without a foreign Trustee so i believe that with you this
transfer will be done without delay once you contact the bank for the
transfer. I have already sent an authorization letter to the bank
recommended you as my foreign Trustee, now the bank is waiting for you
to get in contact with them. There’s no problem the money was
deposited by my late father and i am the next of kin and no doubt
about the claim because i have my late fathers Death Certificate for
prove and also the Bank Deposit Certificate, Thank you for your
information and your picture I must be sincere I believe that we will
make it once this fund is transfer into your account .

Please after reading this mail, make sure you contact the Bank with
the following information through this email Address:
( Go through the below mail very well
and copy it and send it to the bank for the transfer. Do not forget to
get back to me once you contact the bank today. And try to call the
bank director so that he will attend to your sent application and
respond you immediately.


TEL/ (00226 )66 66 13 21
FAX /(00226) 50 32 02 07
Email 1:
Contact: Alhaji Sankara Owen

Director, Foreign Operation Department English Section

I wish to apply as a Trustee to Miss Nancy Kipkalya Kones the next of
kin to Kipkalya Kones from Kenya , who died on plane crash in the year
2008. I am putting claim over his balance of ($5.800, 000, 00 million
dollars) from his ACCOUNT NUMBER 0036101101 and ROUTING NO: 91002211.
I want to know the legal procedure of transferring the said fund into
my bank account; i am now demanding your kind assistance for urgent
consideration of my application.

ROUTING NO: 91002211

My Name; …………………………


Hello shnookylumps,

What a lovely photo, so much nicer than mine, though I should comment that my moustache has now gone, as it slowed me down on the badminton court.
Love the earrings, are they Primark?

Right I have made communication with the bank as you ordered me to do. I do not want to disappoint you, and am already making up the spare room in advance of your arrival – I think we should take things slowly, I’m sure you agree?

With this money I thought we could go mad at the Trafford Centre – maybe catch a film*, get something to eat in the food court under the starry skies, then go wild in Thorntons. I’ve always dreamt of getting their biggest continental box – maybe it won’t be merely a dream for much longer?

love u for ever

* Not Jurassic World – it’s terrible.


Dearest Harold,
I was disappointed this Morning when i recevied a mail from the Bank
informing me that your application was not seen and i told them that
you mail them yseterday and i find out it was lie. please if you are
there for me resend the mail to them and copy the mail i sent to you
to send to them. Also try to call the bank number.

waiting to hear from you


Nancy, Nancy, dearest Nancy

Humble apologies about the sudden and catastrophic breakdown in communications. This was due to a sudden power outage in south Manchester after a period of prolonged drizzle. As a result, my internet connection has been more erratic than Wayne Rooney’s hairline.
However, I now believe I am free to proceed with our transaction, so what I am going to do right now is


Dear Harold,

I understand and i am happy you are back now. Bank mail me that you
has not contacted them and your mail was not seen. please kindly copy
the mail again and send it with the email address i gave you and also
try to call the bank or you send your phone number to the bank with
the application letter i gave you. I will be very happy if bank told
me that you have mail.

waiting to hear from you soon



Dear Nancy Kipkalya,

The email has been sent, I await money. Can I have it in US dollars please, unmarked?

How has your day been at the camp? Still drizzling here, the type that soaks you through. I have been ok, and played quite well at badminton last night. Such a noble sport.

Summer is so fleeting. Before long the leaves will fall from the trees, and thoughts will turn to winter, of frolicking in the snow with my darling Nancy and Christmas, and presents under the tree, and eating too much and of course the Xmas Day Doctor Who.

Still, the fixture lists were out today, so that was good. Tough run in for City. Very tough.



Dear Nancy





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One Comment
  1. Billy Big Bollocks permalink

    Is it me, you’re looking for?

    Nancy’s handsome young brother – Sydney.

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